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New Friends

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:27 pm
by glorkar
Just wondering what proper etiquette is. How long should I wait to call/text them? I've met two new people recently that I want to hang out with again, but to be honest, I don't know how to proceed. It almost feels like dating (and I haven't done that in a really, really long time!)

Re: New Friends

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:25 pm
by DudleyGrunt
Interesting question. How did you meet them? Any new friends I've met since high school have been through college/fraternity, work, scouts, church, caching or some other uniting factor. It's been rare that we've ventured outside those bounds, at least for some time.

I'd say have something specific in mind you think they'd enjoy and call/text/whatever them to see if they'd want to join you. I'd give it a week or so, I guess, but that's just an idea.

Re: New Friends

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:55 pm
by glorkar
I actually met both of them while they were working.
I met one at Goodwill. I was dropping off some stuff and he was working the pick-up area. He saw something he liked, so I met up with him after his shift to do the exchange. We hit it of and exchanged numbers.
The other one is a girl I met at a "club," if you will. We talked all night and exchanged digits after her shift ended.
Keep in mind the last one is not intended to be romantic. I'm currently involved and just want to be friends.
Not very typically scenarios for meeting people, but I tend to be a little left of center sometimes :)

Re: New Friends

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:57 am
by Altered7151
I think with the guy, just have an activity in mind, something you both showed interest in and give him a call to see if he would like to go with you and maybe grab a beer. The Female is probably going to be quite a bit trickier, depends on how understanding your significant other is. Keep her involved as much as possible, tell her all your plans and activities you do with your new female friend. Even though my wife is very understanding, I recently ran into a problem in the same scenario. While I was unemployed for a few months I started meeting with a group of cachers in our area for some cache runs. Most of the cachers were older and retired, thus they had nothing to do during the day. A couple people with days off or furlough days would meet us here and there. One stay at home mom started joining us when her kids were back in school. Turns out we hit it off quite well, had a lot in common, and had very similar upbringings. We soon became friends, and did a couple caching runs with just the two of us when no one else was able to go. Keep in mind I kept my wife well informed of everything we did, and even had a talk with her to make sure she was cool with it. I insured her that it was strictly a friendship thing, we were both married and very dedicated to our spouses. Even then I had some problems, some jealousy arose here and there and we had some issues. Its resolved now, but still I have to tread lightly. If she was a man we would be excellent friends with no issues, but simply because she's a woman its a slippery slope.

Re: New Friends

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:10 am
by glorkar
Thanks for the advice all. I'm still figuring out what to do with the guy. I've actually contacted the girl and it appears that we both had very different expectations for why we were meeting. She was thinking business, I wasn't. She called me a nice guy though, which any of you nice guys out there know is pretty much the kiss of death :( Oh well. I'll have to see if the guy really wants to be friends, or if he was just being nice too...

Re: New Friends

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:09 pm
by idratherbeinthewoods
I would be hoping and praying that all he wants to be just friends.

Re: New Friends

Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:40 am
by glorkar
Yeah, yeah, yeah....you know what I mean :)